Suicide - is it YOUR fault?

The question was, "if your son died and the last thing he had before he died was an argument with his girlfriend, would you blame the girlfriend for your son's death?"

It's a simple question. And my simple answer is "no".
Of course I would naturally feel evilly bad towards the girlfriend because of that situation but that wouldn't mean I would blame her. Suicide is suicide. There's a reason why we distinguish "killing yourself" from "murder". Blaming the girlfriend amounts to thinking she murdered your son instead of accepting that your son killed himself -- it may seem like a long shot, but that's how I see it. And hey, this is my blog. If you disagree, feel free to comment but stop harassing me to write what you think is right (make your own damn blog if you want to).

"But what drove the guy into committing suicide? Shouldn't the blame fall on the girlfriend?"
First of all, we're already leaving the "simple question" arena and delving into "what if's".
But I shall humor you nonetheless: It may simply be circumstantial that the guy killed himself after an argument with his girlfriend. For all we know, the argument might have been about someone forgetting to buy coffee. If the guy did kill himself because of that sort of argument... well, I say he needed professional help and the girlfriend then is really not to blame.

"But something drove him to think about suicide because of such argument..."
Yes, there's always something that would drive someone to think about suicide. Choosing to act on that thought, however, is another thing.

You may have thought about committing suicide so many times in your life (I'm not saying that's normal, and I've had no such experience so far), but thinking about suicide is not the same as committing suicide. There's that cross road that every person encounters where they ask themselves "Do I go through with this?"

Normally the answer to that question is clear. If it's NOT clear for you (like... right now?) then please go talk to someone about it. I suggest your parents, or your BFF, or the suicide hotline.

My personal exceptions are adolescent suicide and mental disorder.
I honestly believe that teen suicide is more complex than adult suicide. For one thing, adolescents are generally more irrational than grown ups. They're affected by negative experiences more severely thus get depressed/stressed more easily. I apologize in advance because I'm strongly biased on this one. I believe that "parents who cannot commit to taking care of their kids should not have any".

Yes, you may have had uncaring parents and you ended up pretty well but that's in spite of it, not because of it. 

I don't think parents are to blame for all teen suicides, I just think they have a big role in preventing that situation by NOT causing that situation, by watching and listening for signs of suicidal tendencies/thoughts and doing something to prevent it. And you can only do those if you actually care for your kids (no, I'm not talking about feelings, I'm talking about actively caring for your kids).

Now, what if you honestly believe you have a happy family and your kid grew up in the best loving environment you can provide? Well then you're either delusional or your kid is simply innately disturbed -- and he needs professional help (if you've watched enough crime fighting shows, you'd realize that it's not always easy for normal people to pinpoint who's a sociopath and who isn't; and Hollywood kinda shows that their parents almost always know, it's just harder for them to accept it.)

Going back to the question: would I blame PersonFriend for Person's suicide?

If Person is "normal", no mental disorders, pretty descent childhood, etc. then no. It's Person's fault.

You mean it's his fault entirely?

My personal point of view: yes, it's entirely his fault. If we can't own up to our own decisions and we keep blaming our past then that's no different to people thinking everything is pre-destined to be as they are. Well that also belittles free will -- yes we're restricted to the choices we make and everything in life is half luck. But what about the other half?

A number of factors are associated with the risk of suicide including: mental illness, drug addiction, and socio-economic factors. While external circumstances, such as a traumatic event, may trigger suicide it does not seem to be an independent cause. Thus suicides are more likely to occur during periods of socioeconomic, family and individual crisis.
Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suicide

If you let someone else "drive" [your life] then there's no one else to blame but yourself. Precisely because you refuse to take control.

So if I do commit suicide (I won't, OK?), let my friends and family read this:
Don't berate yourself about it. It would be my fault: I've had a good childhood, I'm well loved, and I know that I can approach people if I need help.