the sight of it all:
the heart broken,
the damned;
like a crypt of living souls.
Death had had better days.
"You mortals and your trivial pursuits of happiness:
before Peter's gates
you beg for an angel's life.
you envious, greedy, uncharitable creatures,
with your capricious faith
and your carnal minds.
Do you honestly believe you hold merit for anything beyond damnation?
Will you not wash your filthy little hands,
your pale souls?
Will you not die of shame before Him?"
Yep. I wrote that because of a thought: if Death were a person (like how God is three persons) he probably wouldn't be eager to end anyone's life. How could anyone be eager to know that THIS person's time is up. There'd be no more chances to change or to say sorry or to pursue true happiness.
I can honestly say that I am not even 80% satisfied with my life. If I were to die NOW, I would have lived a pathetic life. It has been a life of preparations. I prepared myself to become a good college student. I prepared myself in college to become a good worker. Now I'm preparing myself to become a rich person. It feels like life hasn't really started. Where are my travels? Where are my dreams? When will I start? When CAN I start? I'm too young, I'm not rich enough, I'm not good enough.
I don't want anything to change in my past but there are a lot of things I'd rather do at present. But I won't because then I'd risk my future. And at the same time, I'm risking happyness. I'm proud of where I am. I just know I could be somewhere better and because I could, I know I should.
Would death be glad to take you?
2 comments:
I like the idea behind this poem; you can do some really interesting things with persona poems as the personification of forces like death, I just wish you'd taken it a few steps further. "Death had had better days" so all he does is admonish the dead for leading bad lives? Does he collect their souls reluctantly, wanting to be able to give them time to change their ways? Or does he snatch them up angrily, revoking the life they've squandered?
Yes, in the second stanza he does show anger, but is that anger out of disgust or love? Or both?
The rest of your post makes me think your version of Death is meant to be somewhat sympathetic; but, if that's the case, then that needs to be in the poem. I think you could add another two stanzas easy.
Now then, I meant to be commenting on your rumination after the poem, but I guess you can take the poet out of the workshop, but... I'll always be a nerd? That's not it...
Anyhow, I really liked the way you presented the poem first and then just sort of chewed on the idea for a while. I tend to post poems long after I've written and revised them many times, so I'm not still actively chewing the fat out when I post it. I end up giving a little preface to the poem and nothing afterward, so I think I may bite your style and see how it works for me, if that's okay.
Alright, this has gotten long enough, so I'll just add one last thought: Something to try in the future (for both of us) might be writing the poem, writing the rest of the post, and then revising the poem after you've hashed out the idea. Just a thought :D
Rock on,
-AlexMcG
You're living right now. This is it. This is your life You only get one.
Do something kind everyday. Call someone and thank them for being a part of your life. Close your eyes, and count five things about your life that make you smile. Smile. Smile at a stranger. Forgive your parents their failures, and be grateful for what love they gave.
College, work, wealth, these are all about self, but a fulfilled life, in my opinion anyhow, is not all about the self. I mean, nurture yourself, make your money, fly to Aruba or Nantucket, or whatever, fill your house with expensive pieces by important designers, but also adopt a dog, buy a sandwich for someone who's hungry, or send a thank you card to your favorite teacher from Jr High.
The pursuit of happiness is a biological imperative. It's a trick of nature or god, that keeps us from settling into complacency. What you have will never be enough, until you have meaning. As far as the studies I've read, and my own personal experiences are concerned, meaning comes from relationships, and spiritual generosity.
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