The world will look up and scream,
"Save us!"
And I will look down and whisper,
"Whaaayyy soooo sserioouuus?!"
Oops. Wrong movie.Watchmen was almost as bad as Australia - starring Hugh Jackman and Nicole Kidman. With those two beautiful people in one movie, I actually expected that they'd burst into a song at least once! That might have made those wasted three hours worth it.
But no... I just had to stare into the young, half-bred's eyes half of the time - Nala. Kinda reminded me of someone who also starred in a musical but I can't quite figure it out who...
18 comments:
I thought that Watchmen sucked too. Really f sucked. Did not make any sense especially bc the whole movie premises itself on a murder and "who don't it" investigation of the murder right? Then they kill another 600 people. Who did it? Who cares? Who's father is she? Who cares? I thought that the "editor" should have been f fired. I have a massive headache and many people in my theatre walked out. Don't see this movie.
Alright, first of all, if you want to go see a superhero movie with superheroes in it, Go watch the Hulk or Spiderman. There isn't anything super about any of the heroes in Watchmen except for Dr. Manhattan's penis. Now that thing was super.
Manhattan's willy aside, and not having read the graphic novel, I would characterize the movie as a dark satire of the superhero genre. None of the heroes are anything particularly spectacular or heroic. As a matter of fact, you might even say they are the run-of-the-mill assholes you see on the street everyday. Except now they are in stupid costumes and have stupid names.
The very plot calls into question the necessity for superheroes at all, and after two and half hours of boring flashbacks, awkward and unnecessary dialogue, and just really bad acting, luckily the movie draws to a close, and if you aren't already bored to tears or reduced to a catatonic state to even remember what the original plot was, it doesn't even matter, because the day is saved by a treacherous, ridiculous, deus ex machina style plot twist of epic proportions that is so utilitarianistic and anti-climactic that you just can't help leaving the theater with that 'WTF' feeling.
To be fair to the movie, the cinematography is exceptional, and if you enjoy drama that you can cut with a knife, then this might just be the movie for you. Unfortunately, and I'll never understand why, but I'm sure this movie will go down in history as a staple in the superhero cult classics vault. I'll be damned if you ever see it on my shelf though.
Your review was dead on, and that is exactly how I felt.
Yep the movie was an EPIC waste of time. A Titanic failure. I want 3 hours of my life back. Or at least the money I dropped on my date.
OMG this movie sucked EPIC blue penis. i left right in the middle of it cause it sucked sooo bad i mean the story was sooo bad and people tell me "no this is a great movie its written by a genious is just too complex for people to get." well guess what the story has not even a smell piece of genious in it and wtf was up with the super heroes killing people that was just stupid ah! i feel so dumb that i spend my money on such stupidity.
I liked the comic book quite a bit - it was fun and easy to read, but that was it. Some people (read - fanbois) try too hard to read into the supposed subtext for deeper meaning.
Hell, I'll buy the blu-ray when it comes out. It'll make one hell of a reference movie.
It sucked @ss
I totaly agree with the review but let me sum up the shitty movie.
Its all a bunch of shitty flashbacks, bad sex with a flat chick, and about half an hour of mutant blue dicks which all leads to the last 30 minutes. If you still know what the fuck is going on by that point you have to be fucking einstein. well anyway it all leads up to this last 30 minutes and it looks like there is going to be an epic battle but no its just a boring ass explanation. In short i think they put all the good parts in the trailer.
i saw it it sucked bad i fell asleep when watching it it made no seance the flat chested girl was one of the best parts of the movie but that was it
I just finished seeing it, which was about two weeks after reading the comic book. Did Zach Snyder just completely miss the fucking point, or what!?! The comic is set in a "what if" reality where regular joes decide to become masked avengers. It asks the question--"What kind of people would do that sort of thing and what would be their realistic motivation?" Somehow this movie managed to have pack nearly everything you could from the comic into three hours except the for the very thing that was the purpose of the story to begin with. Top it off with some mediocre acting and loads of dialoge that sounds way better in a comic word bubble than spoken aloud and you end up with this turd of a film. Epic failure.
Just saw the movie a couple hours ago. Easily one of the worst movies I've ever seen. Initially, after leaving the theater, I felt guilty about not having read the "graphic novel" (...novel?? it's a fucking comic book) in order to understand the oh-so-deep story more clearly. Ultimately, I realized that I've never had to read a Batman comic to enjoy Batman movies, or X-Men, or Spiderman... The movies were just awesome on their own merits, and this was a semi-parody shitstorm of fail. Ah well, at least the theater, shall we say, "did not stand to profit" from my viewing this evening. *Ahem*
~xXxDocManhattansDong87xXx
Watchmen is not a graphic novel. It's a trade paperback. It was 12 issues bound together to resell for profit, not an uncommon thing to do after a comic series has run its destined course. Gravel novels are single books unto themselves, not bound collections like Watchmen.
you all hated it because you did not get to read the graphic novel and could not understand shit about it. admit it.
you losers just want "superhero" movie that does not require you to think.
nothing to think about you fucking loser
I’ve not read the comic, however I just watched the 3 hour long version and if this movie was true to the original comic, then I say the original comic SUCKS just as bad as the movie. The best character gets killed off by blue penis because he doesn’t want him to “tell on” him? LOL. Even if he did, would anyone believe him? So blue dick turns the best character into bloody jello? WTF? Mrs Jupiter decides that she wants to ride in the hay with the guy that beat the crap out of her and tried to rape her? WTF?! Those last two are wonderful examples of writing a story of characters based solely on fantasy rather than actual human psychological behaviour, for the purpose of greater drama. While these are fantasy movies, I want to at least believe in the character development. Then her daughter, whom she conceived by the attempted rapist is easy and goes between blue dick and owl man? Not much self respect for either of these “heros”.
This shit movie was bad period..... Some people make better movie with half a day worth of the budjet of this spectacular epic fail. Cold war my ass!!! Hoo this movie take real history into reference so ti s genius.WTF!!!
terrible movie. i turned it off after an hour becuase nothing happened. no story at all.
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